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The message begins in a typically condescending manner. It accuses the overweight runner of “footslogging in the wrong direction”, calls them out for wanting to “stop twice a lap” and points out the “sweat” that “drenches” their body.
But then, all of a sudden, the tone changes – and we find ourselves confronted with a seriously inspirational messages for all the would-be runners out there:
“There’s something you should know: You f**ing rock.
“Every shallow step you take, you carry the weight of more than two of me, clinging to your bones, begging to be shaken off.
“Each lap you run, you’re paying off the debt of another midnight snack, another desser, another beer..
“It’s 20 degrees outside, but you haven’t let that stop your regimen.
“This isn’t your first day out here, and it certainly won’t be your last. You’ve started a journey that lasts a lifetime, and you’ve started it at least 12 days before your New Year’s resolution kicks in.
“You run without music, and I can only imagine the mantras running through your mind as you heave your ever-shrinking mass around the next lap. Let’s go, feet. Shut up, legs. F**k off, fat.
“If you’d only look up from your feet the next time we pass, you’d see my gaze has no condescension in it.
“I have nothing but respect for you. You’ve got this.”
We have to admit that, after reading that, we’re suddenly feeling a LOT more inclined to lace up our running shoes and give pounding those pavements a go!